How many times have you had to fill out the “Employer/Job” line on medical paperwork or answer the question, “So what do you do for a living?” I think our culture has a history of valuing work. Often, it can become the part of your life that defines who you are. Identity is defined as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual” by Merriam-Webster’s dictionary. Identity. What defines your character or personality? I have heard another question that seems to pair with our need for something or someone to define our identity. Where do I belong? Is it my job, a sport, my friends or family that define my identity?
Ten years ago, I felt a strange shift in where I found my
identity. I left my family, my hometown, the church I had attended since I
became a Christian and was baptized, and my job to join my husband in the
pursuit of his calling to become an aviation mechanic. I have moved every
couple of years since, calling new towns my home. I have made new friends and
left them behind or said goodbye as they left me behind. I have three children
who were each born in a different state. I lost my place in the church- the way
I was used to fitting in and serving others. None of these changes in my life circumstances
changed who I was, but it was easy to feel like I had lost my identity.
When I am asked what my job currently is, the technical
answer is “I am a missionary with Ethnos360 Aviation.” What is a missionary?
Does that mean I live in a country different than the one in which I was born?
Do I speak more than one language? Do I spend my time planning evangelistic
outreaches, Bible studies, or build wells for poor communities? The truth is my
life as a missionary doesn’t happen to have those distinctions. I live in rural
Arizona with cows out to pasture right down the road from my house (ok
sometimes the cows are ON the road). The only language I speak fluently is
English, the language of my passport country. I have never participated in a building
project for longer than one week and I don’t provide humanitarian relief or
clean water as my typical work responsibilities.
What work does fill my time? I work from home on my computer
part-time and function as a stay-at-home homeschool mom full-time. I know
planning outreach events, Bible studies, and other programs are activities
other moms have time and energy to accomplish in addition to their home and
homeschool life. I have found my capacity to be much more limited than my dreams.
Each year, I train my children and prepare them to have a little more
responsibility and a little more independence in the hope that slowly my
capacity to serve outside/beyond my family’s needs at home will increase.
Does who I work for define my identity? Ethnos360 is a non-profit organization with a vision to see a thriving church established in every people group around the world. I work for this organization because I share the vision and believe in the methods this organization chooses to accomplish the vision. However, I am not directly involved in living among an unreached people group to learn their language and culture or providing their supplies and transportation as a pilot and mechanic. I am not teaching the Bible as one continuous story written and preserved by God to people who have never heard from the Bible in their own language before. I am not translating God's word into the heart language of another ethnic group so they can understand God's word clearly. What distinction of character or personality can I derive from who I work for?
Do I even qualify as a missionary or a church planter with Ethnos360? Do I belong within an aviation ministry? Is this ministry, this job what defines me or give me a place to belong? The answer is NO. My identity cannot be found in what I do for a living or who I work for. My identity cannot be defined by the way I participate in a church program like VBS or what Bible study I lead. My identity does not come from my friends, my family, or my hometown. My identity has to be placed in someone or something constant and unchanging. My life is a good example of all the changes that can disrupt the way you view your identity. I have to look for my identity outside of myself and my changing circumstances.
I'm learning to look to God for my identity. I trust what the Bible says about my identity because it is God's very words recorded to reveal who God is to mankind. The Bible says a lot about identity. I have learned that I was created by God. God gave me life and purpose. God established the way to work and the way to rest from work. The Bible also teaches that I was chosen by God and adopted into his family. I belong to God. I belong with God. Jesus Christ traded his life for my life so that I could belong in God's family. I don't have to wonder about where I belong or what my identity is in because my identity is defined by God, not me. God is constant and unchanging. He chose to identify me as his own. His beloved child.
I still get confused and try to define my identity by what I do or which group I belong to. But when I bring my thoughts back to the truth of what God says about my identity, I don't have anxiety, stress, and emptiness anymore. I don't feel the pressure to belong or try to fit in. I don't have to prove my worth and demand my rights. I am who God says I am: valued, loved, priceless, HIS. Are you?
