Would you interview for a position with Ethnos360 Aviation?

 Have you ever felt nervous about a job interview? Were you confident you wanted the job but uncertain what impressions you would leave as you interviewed for the position?

I still remember having similar feelings as David and I interviewed with Ethnos360 Aviation in January of 2019. We had already visited McNeal, Arizona once before and spent a week with the McNeal staff while David worked in the hangar alongside other mechanics. Eight months later, we had added our second child to the family and begun attending the training classes required to apply for membership with the organization. We came for candidate evaluation a little out of the usual order. Most candidates participate in evaluation before they attend the training center in Missouri and then interview for membership.

The Candidate Evaluation week at Ethnos360 Aviation headquarters isn’t a final interview. It is an official part of the interview process before you can become a career missionary employed with Ethnos360 and be assigned to serve within the aviation department. To start an evaluation week, Ethnos360 Aviation leadership at McNeal’s international headquarters spend a few days with the pilots, mechanics, and spouses explaining our ministry vision and purpose. The pilots fly with our instructors and complete specific flight challenges. The mechanics are given tasks to complete and are evaluated on their ability to problem solve, complete the task efficiently and quickly, and resolve the maintenance issue correctly.

In the midst of the meetings and technical evaluation, a candidate spends time getting to know the aviation staff who serve Ethnos360 from McNeal, Arizona. Our staff families, and members in training, are given the option of hosting candidates and their families for lunch or dinner. Many staff host a different family each day. The candidates and their families begin relationships with the men and women who form the “home” team of missionaries and support the global team we send overseas. Relationships are monumental within the body of Christ and candidates are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Lord willing, we will continue serving his body, the global church, alongside these pilots and mechanics whether they become members of our organization or serve with a different aviation ministry someday.  Our family looks forward to hosting and building these relationships every year. Some years, we make friends we will welcome back to McNeal in a year or two. Sometimes, we make friends we will not see in McNeal but can support through prayer though we do not know a time and place we will fellowship together again.

Our desire is to welcome these candidates with open hearts and arms. We want to see how God is directing their steps in pursuit of aviation ministry and help encourage them on the way. One of the blessings we experience as we host candidates is the opportunity we have to share our viewpoint about the ministry of Ethnos360 and its distinctives. We have the privilege of telling these men and women how God led us through making the decision to join Ethnos360 for our professional career. We enjoy sharing our life experiences and biblical convictions with other believers who carry similar convictions. 

This year, we were able to answer the questions our guest was asking about God’s direction in our choice of ministry. In the process, we were able to encourage this candidate with two assets we appreciate about Ethnos360 Aviation. First, we expressed our appreciation for how God has given our leadership a clear commitment to a stated vision and purpose. Second, we shared how God has guided our leadership to remain faithful to that vision and purpose. We feel privileged to serve with an organization that has not compromised or deviated from the purpose God set before its members. Another quality we appreciate about our organization is the atmosphere of connected community within the teams in each field overseas and here in the US. The members of the aviation department love one another well, and the candidates feel welcomed into that community! What a privilege to be part of this community and ministry team.

Our leadership continually seeks to invite qualified individuals to attend our evaluation and consider joining our team. We need more employees for multiple reasons. Only God knows when a missionary might need to step into a different role. We have coworkers who needed to change their location or even end their career in missions for medical reasons, family needing additional care, visas being denied, a pandemic, or simply because God transitioned them to a different ministry.

One reason we need to increase our staff in McNeal and overseas is that our committed and faithful team includes leaders and members who are well past retirement age. These men and women are capably continuing in their positions of leadership and ministry. Somehow, the positions will need to be filled before the roles become suddenly vacant because God decided to “retire” someone to a home that is not in this world. Our leadership has been diligently pursuing those who need to step into their leadership positions. Transitions have begun. However, every man or woman who steps into a position in leadership on the McNeal staff has to leave the position they were filling previously. Who will step into those roles and fulfill those responsibilities whether in the US or another country?

When David and I came to candidate evaluation, we had already committed to serving in missions for the remainder of our lifetime as God allowed. We already had invested years in training to gain skills and develop qualifications for serving as part of a team of aviation personnel. The candidates we welcome to this evaluation week each January are on a similar journey. They have made decisions to commit to and invest in a lifetime of serving our Savior, Jesus Christ. They have a desire to grow as individuals whose qualifications as a professional (pilot, mechanic, accountant, nurse, teacher, etc) will enable them to partner with other professionals in delivering a message of hope and life. They have followed God’s word in making a commitment to know Jesus and the one who sent him and to tell the world that Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father [God] except through me [Jesus].” John 14:6

Will you pray with us for our staff who are involved in recruiting professionals to join our ministry? Will you pray for the candidates who are pursuing the necessary qualifications to join our team? Please pray with us that God will continue to direct our organization and those who are interested in joining the ministry to provide pilots, mechanics, IT personnel, and any other professional whom God might choose as his instrument to reach the unreached people of the world through aviation ministry.

What defines who I am?

 How many times have you had to fill out the “Employer/Job” line on medical paperwork or answer the question, “So what do you do for a living?” I think our culture has a history of valuing work. Often, it can become the part of your life that defines who you are. Identity is defined as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual” by Merriam-Webster’s dictionary. Identity. What defines your character or personality? I have heard another question that seems to pair with our need for something or someone to define our identity. Where do I belong? Is it my job, a sport, my friends or family that define my identity?

Ten years ago, I felt a strange shift in where I found my identity. I left my family, my hometown, the church I had attended since I became a Christian and was baptized, and my job to join my husband in the pursuit of his calling to become an aviation mechanic. I have moved every couple of years since, calling new towns my home. I have made new friends and left them behind or said goodbye as they left me behind. I have three children who were each born in a different state. I lost my place in the church- the way I was used to fitting in and serving others. None of these changes in my life circumstances changed who I was, but it was easy to feel like I had lost my identity.

When I am asked what my job currently is, the technical answer is “I am a missionary with Ethnos360 Aviation.” What is a missionary? Does that mean I live in a country different than the one in which I was born? Do I speak more than one language? Do I spend my time planning evangelistic outreaches, Bible studies, or build wells for poor communities? The truth is my life as a missionary doesn’t happen to have those distinctions. I live in rural Arizona with cows out to pasture right down the road from my house (ok sometimes the cows are ON the road). The only language I speak fluently is English, the language of my passport country. I have never participated in a building project for longer than one week and I don’t provide humanitarian relief or clean water as my typical work responsibilities.

What work does fill my time? I work from home on my computer part-time and function as a stay-at-home homeschool mom full-time. I know planning outreach events, Bible studies, and other programs are activities other moms have time and energy to accomplish in addition to their home and homeschool life. I have found my capacity to be much more limited than my dreams. Each year, I train my children and prepare them to have a little more responsibility and a little more independence in the hope that slowly my capacity to serve outside/beyond my family’s needs at home will increase.

Does who I work for define my identity? Ethnos360 is a non-profit organization with a vision to see a thriving church established in every people group around the world. I work for this organization because I share the vision and believe in the methods this organization chooses to accomplish the vision. However, I am not directly involved in living among an unreached people group to learn their language and culture or providing their supplies and transportation as a pilot and mechanic. I am not teaching the Bible as one continuous story written and preserved by God to people who have never heard from the Bible in their own language before. I am not translating God's word into the heart language of another ethnic group so they can understand God's word clearly. What distinction of character or personality can I derive from who I work for?

Do I even qualify as a missionary or a church planter with Ethnos360? Do I belong within an aviation ministry? Is this ministry, this job what defines me or give me a place to belong? The answer is NO. My identity cannot be found in what I do for a living or who I work for. My identity cannot be defined by the way I participate in a church program like VBS or what Bible study I lead. My identity does not come from my friends, my family, or my hometown. My identity has to be placed in someone or something constant and unchanging. My life is a good example of all the changes that can disrupt the way you view your identity. I have to look for my identity outside of myself and my changing circumstances. 

I'm learning to look to God for my identity. I trust what the Bible says about my identity because it is God's very words recorded to reveal who God is to mankind. The Bible says a lot about identity. I have learned that I was created by God. God gave me life and purpose. God established the way to work and the way to rest from work. The Bible also teaches that I was chosen by God and adopted into his family. I belong to God. I belong with God. Jesus Christ traded his life for my life so that I could belong in God's family.   I don't have to wonder about where I belong or what my identity is in because my identity is defined by God, not me. God is constant and unchanging. He chose to identify me as his own. His beloved child. 

I still get confused and try to define my identity by what I do or which group I belong to. But when I bring my thoughts back to the truth of what God says about my identity, I don't have anxiety, stress, and emptiness anymore. I don't feel the pressure to belong or try to fit in. I don't have to prove my worth and demand my rights. I am who God says I am: valued, loved, priceless, HIS. Are you?

Beautiful Wings

 The kids and I sometimes sing the classic song, "One in the bed and the little one said, "Roll over!" Do you remember how that song goes? 

At the end of this counting song, the "little one" who keeps announcing that the others should roll over finds himself or herself all alone in the bed. I normally think that final verse is a triumphant declaration that the "little one" enjoys no longer sharing the bed with all the others. In McNeal, our staff often feels a little of that transition as the team "rolls over" one family after another to fields of service overseas. Our staff at the international headquarters in McNeal has welcomed an average of three families for the past several years. Families arrive in late August for orientation and most families complete their training within nine months. Some pilots are invited to complete additional training as a helicopter pilot once their fixed-wing training is complete.

Our family has been able to rejoice with three families each of the last two years as they completed training and raised the needed financial support to move to their field assignment overseas. We recently enjoyed a sermon from Acts 12 in which the church which Barnabas and Saul (Paul) served as teachers and leaders were given the instruction to send these men on God's mission, to bring the gospel to those who had not yet heard. The pastor recognized the hard task of investing in the life of another for the purpose of sending them to bear fruit somewhere else.  Every time another family becomes a part of our lives and leaves for another field of ministry, a part of our hearts travels with them.

This month, we celebrate the one year anniversary of dear friends arriving in the Philippines. We miss the Thursday morning playdates and deep conversations about parenting.  A few weeks before, another family arrived in Papua New Guinea to join five other families - all of whom completed training and began serving the field within the last three years. These are pilots and mechanics who worked side by side with David every day. These are moms who homeschooled their kindergarteners alongside Allison and cheered when Joelle learned to enjoy reading. These are the "best" friends with whom we celebrate birthdays in person now and then we let go and let them meet new best friends.

Each summer we let go and each fall we open our hearts again knowing that it will be worth the investment. It isn't easy being called to be a "sender", a trainer, a mentor. It isn't easy being a youth leader, a coach, a teacher, a parent, a pastor.  It would be easier to focus on the tasks of the training and leave out the part in which we share lives, dreams, faith, hope, and love. If we live like that, we will miss out on the rich privilege God has given us: to be part of his family, a temple made of living stones (1 Peter 2). If we close our hearts to the people God brings into ministry through training with Ethnos360 Aviation, we will miss the privilege of praying for these pilots and mechanics, their wives, their children. 

We are joining together in the spiritual war of advancing on enemy territory with the good news about freedom from sin and darkness.   David and I are reading with our kids through the book of Romans. In chapter 10, Paul writes, "But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?  And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”  Our teammates are traveling to places that are extremely difficult to reach by foot, but the fruit of their labor is still very beautiful. What a privilege to partner with them and encourage these families as we send them to bring good news so many can call on and believe in our Savior, Jesus.

So when the end of this year's training comes and we face another "roll over" of graduates in May and new families in August, we will still open our hearts and our homes to the people God sends through McNeal to the ends of the earth. Why? Because Jesus is worthy and we want to see "a great multitude that no one could number from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb". Together, we will worship Jesus who has been with us through every transition we have faced and has never left us singing alone.

Am I willing to be second?

Transition in life is hard. Few of us really enjoy change, do we? Sure, we thrive on diversity, seek out variety, wear three to five outfits in one day, but we rarely look for transition from what we find comfortable to something new. How many times have we "upgraded" our technology and struggled to adjust to the new system? Who has held onto a nasty old couch or recliner because it is so comfortable that you hate to throw it out?

I do not acclimate to change well. God has brought some wonderful changes into my life in the past eight years. It seems like a whirlwind of transition. I've been through job changes, change of marital status, multiple moves, new homes, new friends, new churches, new bosses, new state regulations and officials.  I'm sure you have experienced some of the same transition before. My husband once said I was adjusting well. I think he stopped saying that after the second move to a new state, new job, new church, new friends, new baby transition.

Can I be honest? The hardest part of transition is humility. Jesus says we must deny ourselves or, as the New Living Translation puts it, "turn from your selfish ways" (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23).  Jesus is quoted identically in all three of those gospels,

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me."

The question I have to ask myself is "Am I willing to be second?" The difficult fact about following someone is that I don't decide what it is that I imitate or where I follow them. I don't get to be in charge. That doesn't fit with my opinion of myself and my wonderful ability to make decisions and get things done. I want to be the one to lead the pack, set the pace, and determine what will be accomplished, in what order, and by whom.  

Is that what I am commanded to deny? What about myself do I need to throw aside so I have the strength and grace to carry a cross?

Marriage is a good example. I am learning on a daily basis how much selfishness is revealed in my heart because I got married. The excuse that this person has to love me, serve me, care for my needs because they are family has been stripped away.  This person didn't "have" to do any of those things. My husband chooses to love me, serve me, and care for my needs every day. So do I return the sentiment?  How selfish am I to refuse to serve my husband, sacrifice my desires and needs for his, and expend my energy caring for him? Didn't I make a vow to do that?
It's despicable but it's true. There are plenty of days I don't want to love him because....

I don't want to serve him when I feel.... 

He doesn't deserve my concern and care when he.... Does it really matter? 

The truth is that I pledged "to have and to hold, to honor and to cherish, to love and to serve..." until death parts us from each other. There is no clause allowing me to abandon that covenant because I don't feel like it or he doesn't return the favor.

In our current transition, my struggle to adjust has centered around my rebellion against denying myself and taking up my cross.  It surprises me that the cross I don't want to bear is nothing dangerous or monumental. I struggle with the purpose to which Christ has called me, to serve. In this season of life, I am called to serve my husband and my family as a homemaker and wife. Is that so difficult? What is the challenge there?  Thoughts of these verses come to mind to correct my perspective a little.
Mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
John 13:12-17
"12 After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. 15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. 16 I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. 17 Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them."

The challenge for me about serving my husband is rooted in my pride. Doing laundry, washing dishes, and cooking dinner on time seems like such a mundane, unimportant way to bring glory to God. I can't be impacting the Kingdom of God from the kitchen, can I? How can God use me to make disciples if I never leave the house? What if the only time I leave the house is to shop for groceries??

Who wants to follow that example?

The sermons we have heard in church over the last few weeks have focused on having a faith worth imitating. The apostle Paul exhorted the Corinthian church to "imitate me just as I imitate Christ" in 1 Corinthians 11:1. The ultimate goal is that the believers in Corinth would imitate Christ, but Paul was the visible example of who they were following, the imitation of Christ that those believers had experienced personally.

Who wants to follow someone whose imitation of Christ is most often experienced in cleaning bathrooms and washing uniforms, or whose hands are cracked from constantly being in dishwater? It is way more exciting to fix an airplane.  You might agree that it is extremely important to fly an airplane into a remote jungle village or through mountain ravines to rescue someone and transport them to the hospital. Nurses participate in saving lives on a daily basis!  Other people use business skills to provide their communities with basic necessities and job opportunities. Some people risk their lives just sharing the gospel message with a person of another religious background.

Those are all ways of serving. Why can't I serve in the adventurous areas?  I know that God has commanded all believers to make disciples. I just don't see how to make a disciple "as I am going" when the places I go to are so mundane and limited! A dear friend reminded me this is short sighted. As we look at each moment of being a Christ follower, we are also to look at the big picture of Heaven and realize that when you honor God with your life in the little details you are being a disciple. "The one who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and the one who is unrighteous in a very little thing is also unrighteous in much." Luke 16:10 NASB

I knew when I made the decision to accept my husband's proposal of marriage that I would have to sacrifice my dreams of how I would serve in ministry. I also realized that marriage to my husband meant following where his ministry would lead. His ministry direction has always been different than mine. That does not mean we have been unable to serve together in certain ways. However, my husband's greatest spiritual gift is serving others to enable their gifts to thrive. It can be challenging to support and join in a ministry that is serving and supporting everyone else!  I am learning that the calling to serve often requires me to lay aside the ministry I wanted to accomplish in order to support and strengthen another person's ministry.  My husband is teaching me how to serve as he imitates Christ and how Christ served. Jesus Christ is teaching me how to submit to the will of the Father as I learn to serve my husband and help his ministry thrive (doing the dishes, cooking dinner, etc).

Will God enable me to follow Christ's example? I think my role as homemaker and wife may be more fitting to that calling than I want to admit. Can God bring women into my kitchen who need to see an example of imitating Christ's act of service and sacrificial love? Absolutely. Right now, I'm in the process of an attitude adjustment so I can be ready to accurately reflect that kind of humility. Today, I will bring glory to God as I learn to cheerfully submit to my role and perform my service, starting with cleaning the kitchen sink.  First thing tomorrow morning I will clean the public bathrooms in our event hall after a large group event. This may not be the glorious mission I envisioned God would call me to. I may have cried myself to sleep last night. But I am going to choose humility and gratitude for what Jesus sacrificed to be obedient to his Father, God, and thank him with my cleaning services. Who will join me?

Philippians 2:5-11
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Declaring the Glory of God

I've been reading and thinking about this piece of the Bible:

Psalm 19
For the choir director: A psalm of David.


1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
2 Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.
3 They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard.
4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.


God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.
6 The sun rises at one end of the heavens
and follows its course to the other end.
Nothing can hide from its heat.

I've spent my whole life enjoying the benefit of the sun, moon, and stars. I used to lie on my back deck or out in the yard looking at the stars at night. I've gotten such a bad sunburn that people said I looked like a red lobster. I love the quote from a popular children's book "I love you to the moon and back." Who doesn't benefit from the ways the sun, moon, and stars illuminate our lives?

Have you ever thought about daily tasks which depend on light? In an age which benefits from electronic light sources, I think we have managed to lose sight of the light the sun, moon, and stars provide. The weekend before my birthday, our region had a lengthy power outage. No power, no street lights. There was nothing to diminish or distract from the light of the stars. Wow, they were gorgeous! My husband and I sat outside and gazed at the stars for a couple hours talking. There was little else to do without light by which we could see!

Psalm 19 states the heavens have a job to do, a message they proclaim day and night. The heavens have spent their entire existence doing what they were intended to do. Their impact has gone "throughout the world." Do you ever wish you had that kind of impact?

The second part of the psalm focuses on the sun's role in the heavens. "The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Nothing can hide from its heat." Living in the desert brings a constant reminder of the powerful heat the sun produces. I may hide inside my house with walls and blackout curtains to try and hide from its heat; the sun still relentlessly increases the temperature of my house while my air conditioning unit battles to reduce its effect. When I lived in Colorado, people would marvel at the deep snows that fell in the early spring. Yet, my family's house faced the south so our snow would melt quickly in the heat the sun produced.

The psalmist marvels at the heavens because they accomplish that for which they were designed. They do what they were created to do-declare the glory of God, their creator. Do you ever wonder why you exist or what purpose your life was given? Do you ever feel exhausted and discouraged? I've been there... I've felt depressed because I have spent so much energy and seen so little of my goals accomplished. I've wondered if I am worthless because I see no point in continuing the effort to live another day. But, I've begun to ponder, "Am I really pursuing the purpose for which I was given life? Is this what I was created to do?"

The author of this psalm makes it sound so simple: the heavens declare the glory of God, display his craftsmanship, and make him known. Is that all? Is that what every part of creation was designed to accomplish? Scientifically, we know a lot about life that biology, astronomy, and the other studies have discovered about how things work and how their functions interweave. Yet, there is something amazing about the simplicity of this purpose - to make God known. Is that the ultimate goal of all the intricate complexity and interactions of cells and microorganisms?

With singular focus, the sun follows its course across the heavens, burning and glowing intensely. Sound boring or mundane? Get up, go from point A to point B, and do the same thing over and over and over for years.... The author describes the sun's response to God vividly. The sun bursts forth with exuberance, radiant and confident, like a man who has tasted everything his heart desired and is ready to conquer any challenge. It rejoices with eager anticipation at the thought of another chance to run its course. Do you face your day with that attitude? I know I struggle to feel that way about another morning.

What do the sun, moon, and stars teach us about life? What can I learn from this descriptive imagery? I was created with purpose. God has a place for me in His world and a course to finish. God designed His world, His people to make him known. The heavens do this all day and night without speaking a word. Their mere existence and ability to complete their unique function proclaims the message, "God designed me to give light and heat!" Nothing and no one can hide from this message. Not even the North and South Pole. I have also begun to learn that I can accomplish my purpose with joy. I can face the repetition of my daily tasks with anticipation and eagerness. I was intended to let my life declare the glory of the one God who created me and gave me purpose! I believe this is as true for people as it is for the heavens. Do you?

When God says, "No"

January 6th, 2020
Our family spent four days this December visiting a ministry in Burlington, NC. MAG, Missionary Air Group, is an organization that provides air ambulance services to indigenous and national people in remote regions of Honduras. We have known several former apprentices at MMS Aviation who continued their training and field preparation at MAG.  Our friends invited us to come visit MAG and see what God is doing through the ministry of MAG. We thoroughly enjoyed reconnecting with the two MMS Aviation families still in training at MAG (three families have completed the apprenticeship and are already serving in other countries). It was refreshing to catch up with our friends, share similar life experiences about training for cross-cultural ministry, and learn about how God has led each family to make unique decisions about how they fit into the overall picture of God's mission to spread the gospel. Many of our conversations affirmed our desire to continue this journey of following God wherever the next step leads. Our visit also provided the opportunity for our family to investigate whether God would be changing our direction to a ministry position in a mission organization that would allow us to live in the United States for health reasons.
David and I appreciate the vision MAG has- intentional ministry that provides a platform for engaging people with the gospel and discipling believers. However, we discovered the organization would not be a better fit for our family than the bond we have developed with Ethnos360 and the staff in McNeal, AZ or Roach, MO. We also confirmed our suspicion that North Carolina is not a "healthier" climate for Allison than Ohio or Missouri have been.  We believe God used this trip to encourage our pursuit of membership with Ethnos360 Aviation rather than redirect our course. We thank God for answering our prayer for clear direction, even when that answer is a clear "NO." Please email us if you have questions about specific reasons that helped us make this decision.
We've attached a link to the web page for Missionary Air Group here https://www.flymag.org/  We hope you will visit the web page and learn more about this ministry. We encourage you to consider partnering with the organization if you have interest in medical missions. We know several of you have participated on a medical missions trip or know someone who has been blessed to serve in such a way.

March 23, 2020
Another example we've faced recently brought tears to my eyes often. Our daughter has grown very close with her teacher in preschool. She loves the structure and the friends she gets to play with every morning (Monday through Friday).  Out of respect for the health of our classmates and childcare staff, there are reasonable guidelines for what illnesses require a parent to stay home from class to keep sick kids from infecting other kids. We have been unable to attend classes two weeks out of each of the past three months. Our daughter misses her class, so every day she prays to ask God that we would get better and be able to go back to class.
Our campus has chosen to switch to live streaming in respect to the federal and local Covid-19 recommendations to restrict gatherings to groups of ten people and enforcing the 6ft restrictions for appropriate distance between those present. At first it seemed childcare may still be able to be offered within the recommendations, but every member of our family needed to be healthy to be able to utilize this resource during our final two weeks of the semester. Our classmates' Graduation ceremony was cancelled. Our daughter's teacher is not returning next year to teach the preschool class, and our family will be moving from the area. Our daughter's prayer was so sweet and trusting, just the childlike faith we are all commanded to have. What was God's answer going to be to her prayer? Would she be able to have a few more days to go to class and say goodbye to this place she loves?
The day came quickly upon us with an email announcing the final day of childcare. Friday... tomorrow.... We felt that all our family members were finally without symptoms of illness. We could return for our final day of class and the fellowship of our classmates and friends. 

Our daughter's class threw a birthday party, for everyone. Our daughter loves celebrating birthdays, especially with friends from "class". While her birthday would be two months in the future, she was able to celebrate just as she hoped and play with those she loved. Some of her classmates moved away the very next morning. God had answered her sweet, innocent, faithful prayer with a "yes" one last time.

June 6th, 2021

We have been serving in ministry at Ethnos360 Aviation Headquarters for ten months, and David has been receiving additional training with the maintenance team. Allison completed the required course for aviation wives to prepare for responsibilities as a missionary wife and mother in another culture or overseas ministry context. When we interviewed (also called a candidate evaluation) in January of 2019, the leadership was clearly focused on accepting candidates capable of meeting ministry needs in the overseas locations they serve. Now we are waiting for the answer: in which country will the leadership assign our family to serve? We are anxious to begin the visa paperwork and negotiations to gain permission to move our family overseas in the coming year.  Our meeting with leadership left us in shock.  The leadership does not intend to send our family to serve in ministry overseas, possibly not ever.  The aviation headquarters has a department that needs additional employees to serve the entire organization from the Aviation headquarters-this position would be a chance to serve all five ministry locations. NO OVERSEAS WORK EXPERIENCE REQUIRED. They want David to begin work immediately after our sending church gives the approval for this assignment. We won't be moving overseas after all. We don't have to choose or be assigned to a foreign field location. We won't even have to move from one house on the center to another housing situation. Is this what God was planning to ask of us all along? 

The season we have faced in the past two years with Covid-19 pandemic is a constant reminder of timeless truth. We do not know whether our plans for the future will stand firm or fade away like a mist. God's truth teaches that he alone is in control of what the future holds and that he knows every moment he has laid out for our lives. I wrestle with wanting to be in control of my plans; bitterness threatens to extinguish my joy when plans change or life takes an "unexpected" (to me) turn.  I am learning how true James' words are when he wrote "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:14-15) and Proverbs that remind me, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21) "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." (Proverbs 16:9)  Our family has made a lot of plans that have evaporated like mist, especially in the current season of limitations. However, I am so grateful that God loves with gracious, wise, and powerful actions that establish my steps according to his sovereign plan so that I need not fear if I ask for his guidance, seek counsel,  and submit to what he reveals his plans are.  I am learning to be grateful for the clear answer of God's word and his counsel through his people because his ways are good. He knows what is best for me and my family. I am thankful for this opportunity to wrestle and practice following my gracious God as he leads our family through whatever life is ahead.

Building Discipline

 I am not a runner. It probably doesn't count if I just "know somebody" who runs. Truth is I know a lot about running if hearing my friends talk about their passion counts for something. What I hear sounds like a lot of hard work and perseverance. Discipline. And what I hear stirs in me a respect for their hard work, their commitment to keep pursuing bigger and harder goals, to keep training for a little longer run, a little bigger race, and a little more stamina.

Do you know why I respect those who run? Because deep down, I know they have what it takes to accomplish an arduous task. I know they set goals and persevere until they achieve them. I know they endure the pain because the end of the race, knowing they reached their goal and did not give up, is worth all the pain of the journey. Sounds like God's plan for life to me. Hebrew 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." NIV

My running friends have taught me the value of training. You don't get up one day and decide to run a 5K; you get up and decide to train for a 5K. You don't complete a marathon when your running experience amounts to an occasional 5K; you train for a half marathon and then for a marathon. AND you don't run in high altitude unless you've trained to run in high altitude.

I appreciate my running friends because they provide a picture of how to develop discipline and build muscle. I may not have the muscles that allow me to run a marathon or even a couple of miles. But I could...  

I may not have the muscles that allow me to walk in integrity and be a faithful wife, friend, mother, sister, and daughter but I could...                                                                                                              How do I build discipline into other areas of my life?

The idea of developing a disciplined life is not new to me but I am looking at the importance of discipline through new eyes as I watch my children grow and develop. I feel an incredible need to teach them the practice of developing discipline. I teach them to discipline themselves in every area of life: how to get enough sleep, how to brush their teeth regularly for two minutes, how to wash their hands when they blow their nose! Am I teaching them only these skills? Or will I teaching them about discipline so they can apply this practice to every area of their life?

When I graduated college, I was blessed to begin working for a small business owner. Over the six years I learned business practice from this employer, I watched the struggle in hiring and managing a small staff of around twenty employees. One of my employers' greatest challenges was the commitment or lack of commitment to quality service that an employee like myself might have. I remember a conversation with my employer where he struggled to determine what made the difference between a person with a work ethic that benefitted the clients and the business and a person who had little commitment to work hard and provide good services. I think one of the factors is discipline. Were the individuals taught to value hard work, keeping promises, using your time well, and other areas of commitment to be disciplined?

There are a lot of areas of life that can benefit from discipline. How your employer views your contribution at work is one small piece of the puzzle. Discipline affects my relationships with friends. Am I keeping my commitment to be at someone's house on time? Am I available to help watch their kids or bring them a meal on short notice? My discipline in my daily tasks provides opportunities for developing relationships after "my chores are done". Am I modeling this for my kids?

One of the areas I think makes the biggest impact on my life is discipline in my relationship with God. How do you develop a relationship with God? How do you develop a relationship with your best friend, your mom, your spouse or significant other? Time and being a good listener are some of the key pieces to my closest relationships. I rarely get to know someone well if I have no time for them or I do all the talking. My life is busy and full of commitments. I'm sure your life is equally full. Have I scheduled time to listen to God and just be with Him? I learn more about God from reading the Bible because the words of the Bible are God's words, written to humanity to tell us who He is. God is saying "Hello, do you want to get to know me? Let me tell you about myself. Would you like to listen?"

A part of how I get to know God more intimately is when I do more than just read the words He wrote to me. I read and think and write about what I learned from God's letters. I keep a journal of what God says about Himself, or about me and how He relates to me. These journal entries are very personal but only beneficial as a way to deepen my level of understanding about what I read in the Bible. I hope that my kids will see this and begin their own habit of sitting and reading the Bible and thinking about what they read. My daughter already loves getting up in the morning to sit on the couch with me while I read to her from the Bible. She also notices every time I let something else push my time with God aside. Which pattern do I want my children to imitate? What do my actions show is my highest priority?

Memorizing God's word is another area that I have seen God bless when I practice discipline. My four year old is learning to memorize Bible verses through song and also just repetition. We practice the phrases one small piece at a time until we build the psalm or other Bible passage into a complete section. We memorized Psalm 23 in a couple of months. We just started memorizing the first verse of Psalm 1, "Oh the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked or stand around with sinners..." Sometimes we laugh at how funny it sounds to keep repeating the same small phrase over and over. "Oh the joys" (echo from 4yr old), etc. In two days, we built the memory pattern for 17 words! Our favorite part of Psalm 23 has been verse 4, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for YOU are with me. Your rod and your staff comfort and protect me." The reward for our discipline of practicing these words before bed is knowing my daughter can turn to this truth in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream or when she is playing with friends and has to decide whether to be kind or to join in the bullying of another kid. Truth be told, I have nights when fear keeps me awake or I can't stop thinking about choices I have to make to do what is right instead of follow the crowd.

So what does this have to do with running again? What I want to communicate most is that I've learned how hard it is to attack a big goal from the starting line. You can't do it. You can't sign up for the race and assume you have the muscles to finish. You will fall down. Discipline is what I need to keep going until the race is over. Training for the big race is what I need to be able to run well from start to finish. I will still fall down, be exhausted, sweat like crazy, and experience all the highs and lows of completing such an intense race. But I will finish... because I prepared with discipline. This is my ultimate goal. This is how I take small steps to pursue a big goal, one training step at a time. This is what I want to model for my children and teach them: how to build discipline.

Normal begins with what I believe

About this time last year, I saw an article that really captures the struggle I found within my heart as we faced the abrupt end to our time in training. In fact, these questions have surfaced in every transition we have faced during our career in ministry. 

How to Raise Normal Kids

Will my kids be awkward and unfamiliar with "normal" culture? Will they feel resentment when neither this "home" nor that "home" feel like a place they belong? What will I model for them?

My reaction and my perspective about God will show through whatever face I'm trying to put on in front of my kids. What do I truly believe about God, his truth, and his control over the world and my life? Do I believe God is good in the midst of pain, grief, and loss? Do I believe he is in control even when I have no control over my circumstances or decisions that are made for me and my family? Do I believe that God is able to be both just (giving righteous judgment that is deserved) and gracious (giving undeserved pardon)? Do I trust God?

I've spent several years walking through life with people and listening as they process hurts and grief.

Often, I hear the words "I have trust issues".  I think my perception of myself as a "pretty good person" or a Jesus follower fooled me. I have had the perception that I did not have trust issues; how false that perception has been. I have difficulty learning to trust anyone but myself.

The past eight or nine years of my relationship with my husband has really revealed some of my deepest, darkest places of fear and bitterness. Why do those whom you hope to trust most and hold closest to your heart become the source of so much distrust? 

My personal journey of learning trust began in early childhood. There are things I experienced as a child I only recently revealed to my family. My parents never knew what I saw and heard at the age of six. Why did the adults present at this home not see and intervene? 

Next, my parents separated when I was eleven. Their difficult marriage never seemed so painful to me as the act of ending the marriage, and with it, all my security.  I struggled throughout my teen years with bitterness, questions, wondering why a Christian family would end up so broken and divided.

Did my parents cause my issues with trust? Did the other authority figures in my life who abandoned or betrayed me leave behind a wake of resentment towards authority? Have we all experienced being let down by someone we should have been able to trust?

Now I'm the one whose life is under scrutiny. My marriage, my ministry, my parenting lacks the very constant faithfulness I expected of the adults in my life. How do I handle this inconsistency? How do I face the brokenness in my own life and what issues my brokenness can cause in other people's hearts? Will those looking at my life find what they are looking for?

Will I cause "trust issues" in my family's hearts? Probably. 

Do my kids see my life and my choices lining up consistently with what I say I believe or do my actions and reactions reveal there is a disconnect between what my heart truly believes and what my lips say I believe is truth?  

I'm guilty of the disconnect, but I see hope in the fact that God's truth is unchanging and I am being changed by that truth. Every time God reveals a disconnect between what I know to be true and how my reactions portray my belief, I see God giving me an opportunity to accept His grace. I can choose to put aside what lie I was holding onto and replace it with the truth. I pray God will make His faithful and unchanging character visible in my life as I imitate how He has loved me.

This is the process Paul describes in many of his letters to churches: to put off the old self and put on the new self. The church we attended in Camdenton studied the book of Ephesians last year. Potter's House of Camdenton What I love about chapter 4 in Ephesians is the clear explanation of the process every person undergoes when they are transformed from what they believed and who they were to become a new person who has learned and is learning the truth about Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 4:17-24 is a passage that has been extremely helpful to me since I memorized it after college. The entire chapter (Ephesians 4 NLT) focuses on the need these followers of Jesus had (and we also have) to grow in maturity- to change from the broken people we were when we learned about Jesus Christ to become more like Him in how we think and act. Maturity that unites what we believe about Jesus with what our actions reveal is our deeply held habits or old convictions.

I believe this is the root of the issues we all have with trust. 

Broken people will break our trust, and trust takes a long time to rebuild when it has been broken. Time we often are unwilling to give those who have hurt us. 

God gives us time to change; He also is the one at work changing the hearts of those who will surrender control of our lives to Him.  See what Ephesians 4 says? 

Ephesians 4:20-24, 30

20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

Another section of the Bible I memorized has encouraged me to accept the grace God is giving me to change one minute, one choice at a time. Philippians 2 verse 13 says,

"13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

What an incredible promise! God Himself, the Creator of my life, is changing my life like that? Another versions says, God is giving me the will and the effort to do what pleases him.  This is a dual effort. God is changing me as I let the Holy Spirit renew my thoughts and attitudes. I was created to be truly righteous and holy, to look like Jesus Christ when He lived on earth and to imitate how He believed and acted. 

Jesus never caused "trust issues" because He did not choose to break trust with God or the people who knew Him. Don't mistake me: Jesus had plenty of people who were upset with things He did or said. People who hated Him and wanted to kill him (and did). But Jesus was always truthful and trustworthy. He never broke promises; He made promises that people didn't agree with but He was always acting with integrity. Nothing Jesus said or did caused people to be disappointed or have their expectations let down. (People made their own choices to set expectations of Jesus which were based on their own desires- desires that He never encouraged or promised to fulfill, but that's a whole different conversation.)

God has identified me as His own, guaranteeing I will be saved on the day of redemption when Jesus returns to claim me as His own, His loved one. 

So what am I practically doing to join God in changing my life to become one of faithfulness and integrity? What am I doing to become someone my husband, my children, my coworkers, my friends can depend on?

First, I am reading about God and Jesus in the Bible every day so I can picture what a person with faithful character looks like. Second, I printed some verses from Romans 8, 2 Peter 1, and some Psalms to post on my wall in places where I spend a lot of time. One is at the kitchen sink; I do a lot of thinking and pondering life while standing at the kitchen sink..... The other prime location is in my bathroom. Amazing how this has filled my mind with more accurate thoughts about how the Holy Spirit can give me the ability to live in a way that pleases God and demonstrates trustworthiness. Third, I'm compiling a list of the character qualities in God that I want to imitate-character that shows He is worthy of our trust. 

I am realizing it is not the fault of any authority figure in my life that I have "trust issues". 

I am responsible to choose who and when and how I trust. 

I am responsible to choose to trust God for who he is and how he has demonstrated faithful, trustworthy actions toward people since the beginning of time. 

I am responsible to inform my mind and heart about God's character - to read and think about what the Bible says about God's character and what it records about his actions. 

I am responsible to choose to believe what is truth and worthy of trust. 

This is how I worship God.

Changing Expectations

 How was your 2020 Thanksgiving celebration? Did you have the usual spread of turkey, stuffing, and casseroles and pies? Did your family gather in front of the television to watch football or a parade? 

   OR

Were you isolated from family and friends because of a shelter in place order? Did you play a pick up game of football in the front yard or watch a local parade from the inside of your car? Did you watch the livestream of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on You Tube?

Our Thanksgiving traditions have changed a lot over the years, but this year was pretty unusual for me. Maybe it was the lack of colder weather or the fact that I went sugar free this year. Perhaps moving to another state in August set the stage for the unfamiliarity that made our plans seem uncertain this Thanksgiving. We thought about going on a weekend trip to Phoenix or Tucson. But in the end, we just stayed home like it was any other weekend (with a few extra days off work).

My new home has a wonderful kitchen and lots of electric appliances-some we brought and some we rent. The refrigerator, dishwasher, and stove are recent models, probably the same age as the house. We have enjoyed using the appliances. There is one drawback....

I react strongly to gas: natural gas or propane, diesel or jet, any petroleum product. Someone told me my symptoms sound like a migraine. So unless I want to be in bed for the day, I don't cook on the range that comes with our house. In fact, I asked the landlord to turn off the source of gas to the stove/oven completely.

How do you cook a turkey without an oven? Moreover, how do you cook any part of Thanksgiving dinner without an oven? We didn't. We grilled mesquite chicken. 

We managed to cook one pumpkin pie in our toaster oven (which is remarkable that a pie dish can fit inside). It was a little dry perhaps, but my family enjoyed the custard. 

Another blow to my celebration was the lack of extra people in my home. I love being home with my immediate family and I'm an introvert to boot. Still, I grew up with the tradition that family (no matter how much you fight with them) got together for holidays. Thanksgiving was the exception: my dad couldn't take time off to travel 12 hours to spend Thanksgiving with my grandparents. My mom found a way around that limitation: we adopted grandparents! We always invited our "adopted" grandpa or grandma over for Thanksgiving dinner. I loved those memories of special times with special people. It made living far away from family not so lonely. 

Later in my life, my mom's family all moved to the same town. We spent every holiday at my grandma's house making memories over a big meal and a game of Royal Rummy or Taboo. After my grandma passed away, my cousin rose to the occasion and began hosting our family holiday gatherings. I always made the mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving.

This year, I still made the mashed potatoes but I didn't need as many pounds of potatoes. 

I felt like my expectations of Thanksgiving were shaken because we didn't have family over (too far away to visit), we didn't eat turkey, and we didn't watch a parade. I didn't even eat pie because I used a recipe that called for ingredients I can't have. What made Thanksgiving a day that was different from any other Thursday? Was I really any more grateful that day or the month of November? Or was I feeling less grateful than other days because my expectations were unmet?

Another question was raised in my mind: what makes a specific day a holiday? Is it the traditions and the cultural expectations we meet? Is it the gifts or the people? the food or the activity?

What is holy about these days we call holidays? Do we give thanks to God more on Thanksgiving or celebrate the life of Jesus Christ more on Christmas? How do we emphasize the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ on Good Friday and Easter Sunday? How does our celebration become holy in the midst of the food, family, and festivities?

Is your holiday celebration more holy than the other days on the calendar? Does God's presence fill your mind and your interactions with others more on these holidays? I can't say that I see the distinction in my heart and mind; moreover, shouldn't every day look holy like this?

Our family is on the verge of another move. This move will place before us life change for which we have no way to fully prepare. We don't know what to expect! We are leaving the familiar and entering a new climate, new culture, new language, new government system, new way of life. How can we have appropriate expectations? What will we do when our expectations are not met?

God has been reminding me through the counsel of those whom he loves and who love him: my attitude matters more than my circumstances. What good are expectations that go unmet? What is worse? to have plans change and expectations be unmet? or to complain, pout, and grumble over some situation that didn't turn out how I wanted it to?

Joy is a choice that awaits me in the midst of unmet expectations. It is a choice to look beyond the immediate circumstance to the awaiting opportunities: opportunities that can pass by if my attitude is focused on what didn't happen instead of what could happen. Joy is choosing to delight in the Lord's presence in the "what is happening now" rather than "what should have happened".  Joy is choosing to delight in God's wisdom and and trust his authority over my life in each situation regardless of the circumstances I face.

Expectations. What were your expectations for this year? Have you changed your plans a few times since January? I think the rapidly changing situations we encountered this year have reminded me I need stability. I need something unchanging to cling to...

I need God.

In a world that is so uncertain, God has never changed. Neither have his plans for humanity and the world he created. From before time began, God's character was and remains stable and dependable. God has revealed himself to humanity clearly and consistently. He wrote his story and has preserved his words for thousands of years in one book, the Bible. His truth never changes and his loyal, faithful love never disappoints. I can trust the truth of God's Word and my expectations will always be met. How can I be this confident? Because God has proved his character throughout history, and he has kept every promise he has made (or will keep those that remain). The birth of Jesus Christ was promised thousands of years before it happened. All those who believed in God's promise of a Savior, a redeemer, the Messiah were not disappointed. Many died before they saw this promise fulfilled, but God still kept his word. Galatians 4:4 reads, "But when the fullness of the time came, God sent His Son," NASB or "But when the right time came, God sent his Son." NLT 

We are starting a new tradition this year to turn our Christmas focus toward our unchanging, faithful God and his son, Jesus. We are celebrating the names of Jesus, the ways his names reveal who he his and what he has done to show his love to us. We are making an Advent month paper chain. Every day we read a verse or passage of the Bible that explains one of the names given to Jesus. Some of the names we have learned this month are Immanuel "God with us" and Messiah "Anointed One". We read in John 4 a conversation where a woman is given the opportunity to find out who Jesus is. She mentions her people's hope in the promise of the Messiah.  "The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus told her, “I am the Messiah!” John 4:25-26 NASB God kept his promise to send the Messiah who would crush the deceiver, Satan. Jesus kept that promise. God has also promised to rescue a broken world, groaning under the weight of sin. He will keep that promise too. 

I thank God for the truth I can cling to when my expectations of life in this broken world are disappointed, truth that hope in God will not disappoint me... ever. And hope that someday all the promises will be kept just like he has kept promises in the past. That is worth celebrating every day, no matter whether the feast is traditional or guests have arrived. Maybe I will learn how to celebrate the hope of the gospel in a tropical climate where it never snows and pine trees can't be found. It will still be a Christmas worth celebrating.

"Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:1-5

When life gets smelly

Something you may not know about Allison is she has some unusual reactions to smells. Those who grew up participating in theater with Allison may remember how her skin turned funny colors when painting sets for play scenes. 

How does this relate to moving overseas? In a letter from the allergist Allison saw last December, the doctor stated Allison should avoid all chemicals that cause irritation to her sinuses. (It felt like the letter was stating Allison should stop breathing.... then what?) In reality, life goes on whether you get a migraine, a sinus infection, or a dizzy spell just because you inhaled a chemical smell or fragrance right? 

One of the challenges our family is facing is how to cook without a gas stove. Once we move to a foreign country, we will no longer have the stable electricity that we have enjoyed in the United States. Will we be able to purchase an electric range and have it shipped to our host country (the country in which we will serve)? Propane gas (LP) is the normal means for fueling a stove/oven (or anything else) in these parts of the world. This was the first issue that Ethnos360 Aviation leadership posed when we investigated the possibility of working with this organization. After discussing the potential problems and solutions, the leadership stated, "we admire your faith in God to provide the solution to this problem and we will stand behind you as you walk forward to see how God will lead." We love the fact that our health challenges are not a deterrent to this team to welcome us and stand behind us. We love the truth that God is not daunted and this health challenge is not a surprise to him. Rather, this is an opportunity directly from the hand of God to teach us to depend on him for life and breath and to trust him as he leads us forward to obey his commands.

Flash forward to the present:
Housing on the Ethnos360 Aviation International Headquarters is provided (for rent) to all those in transition between fields. The women who arrange for housing contacted Allison in July to discuss the options for housing with or without an electric range. We chose housing without an electric range. While our current housing is the best possible situation for our family, it does have a gas stove. We requested the maintenance team turn off the gas to the range before we arrived in August.
We have been navigating how to cook without a stove or oven. We have the benefit in the US of using a variety of electric appliances (Instapot, toaster oven, electric kettle, even an electric burner), each of which can cook a portion of a meal or a whole meal. Not only have these appliances allowed Allison to feed our family without triggering a migraine; we also have enjoyed sharing our meals with others. 

We took the opportunity over Thanksgiving weekend to bake a pie in our toaster oven and make gingerbread cookies. We may only be able to fit four cookies in the toaster oven at one time so that makes baking time a lot longer.... I think our family is grateful for the options that exist to feed our family and even make some special treats.

We are choosing to trust the Lord for the next step in the journey: how to cook our meals using similar appliances when the electricity is 220V/50Hz (depending on the country 220V/60Hz or 127V/60Hz) and power may go out at unexpected moments!

Bloom in the desert

 I wanted to include a picture of the prettiest yellow flower that volunteered to bloom in our yard the first week we lived in McNeal, Arizona. Unfortunately, it died before I took the photo. I found a different flower. Even in a drought year there is still the possibility of flowers in the midst of barrenness. Anything else you see growing on the McNeal center is the result of diligent watering. Who knew you could have a beautiful grass lawn or a garden in the desert?

I feel like the contrast of bare dirt, patches of weeds (most of which poke and impale you), and flowers is a picture of my personal life. I have a lot of barrenness in my heart: places where what I chose to believe has led to attitudes and choices that display ugliness and death. But Jesus has begun the process of watering my heart with his truth. The more water I receive, the more growth can happen in my barren desert. 

There are so many areas of life that Jesus is watering in 2020. I think I've been feeling like ground that has been growing weeds so long it hurts to uproot these things. Some of the deepest roots shoot up and wave in the breeze during seasons of stress and transition. Our current career really creates the opportunity to grow some weeds! The past two years we have moved twice, spent every December and June through August living out of suitcases in someone else's home, and facing a variety of changes in family size and community. We have said so many goodbyes, made new friends, said goodbye again, and enjoyed reconnecting with friends from previous seasons. 

Kind women ask how my family is handling the transition. Not well is usually my answer. The kids are not sleeping soundly. No one is calm and well rested. Stress abounds as we hurry to get settled and unpacked, can't find what we had packed several months ago, wonder which state or home we left some possession in, try to figure out where to buy the foods we can eat (special allergies make life different every location), and adjust our expectations. 

If you have moved towns or states, you understand these realities. New doctors, new stores, new acronyms for state/government functions. Is it the DMV, MVD, or BMV that does car registration? We cling to the few things that remain a constant: God, his words in the Bible, our family of four, and creation. Even the necessities of life change in a move. Do you need pizza as a staple in your house? What about tamales? Do you use a public restroom that provides toilet paper or do you have to bring your own? Is clean (or any) water readily available or do you have to drill deep for a well?

How do you handle major life changes? Our family is learning how deeply we need God's word to be a part of every day. We need to remind ourselves of his presence and his promise to be with us wherever we go. We have to stop and read his Word or quote the part of the Bible we remember speaks to our sadness in the middle of the moments when we just don't like one more difficult thing to figure out.

This transition has been very difficult for our family. Among the temper tantrums, lack of green things, blistering heat, and new relationships, God continually reminds us that this is the place he wants our family to dwell. He placed us in a home that allows parents and children to have their own personal space when we get upset and need time to think or pray. He set us under leadership that reminds us through their words and their example of the privilege and expectation we have from God to "honor one another above yourselves." He provided indoor and outdoor means to allow our kids to let out their energy and stress through play. He provided us with mentors who have listening ears and hearts that have wrestled with God's word and responded in obedience over the years.

I think I grew up with the misconception that life was supposed to be comfortable and easy if you do the right thing. Unfortunately, I think this is one of the ways Satan has taken the truth of God and twisted it to a deceptive and attractive alternative. The best life is a content life that is dependent on the Creator God who gives us life itself-life abundant, life eternal, life complete. Contentment doesn't depend on our circumstances (how our day is going, whether we are where we wanted to be, whether our plans worked out or our goals were accomplished). Contentment is much more stable an attitude than worry because it is based on our God and his character; who he is and what he has and will accomplish does not change. 

Our God is dependable and he intends for us to depend on him. I have been reading through Deuteronomy about God's instructions to the Israelites. My two favorite things about this book are related: God reveals the reasons why he led Israel through the wilderness in chapters 5-8 and he gives reasons for various instructions for living in community. God is giving the Israelites a glimpse of how to accept and enjoy the life he has planned for them.

I am learning the secret of being content (Philippians 4:11-13) is God himself. God led the Israelites through a difficult experience that required trust and endurance. But this experience was purposeful and intentional. Read Deuteronomy 8:2-6 God did not design life to be bleak, empty, and full of strife. Neither did God design man to live independent of relationship with God himself or separate from other humans. Relationships are beautiful and rich, but here in our sin-twisted world, relationships are messy. Relationships require me to be crying out to God and seeking to let his power be at work in my life and his truth replace the lies. I am learning that the relationships I persevere in and continue to fight for are the most rewarding and valuable relationships I have. They teach me that what is easy is not what is most often best; they teach me to depend on God to accomplish the impossible and to adore how he can give grace when I am inadequate. Messy but humble and dependent on God-I choose relationships that will point out how much we all need God's gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, his grace and forgiveness. I want to learn to be content depending on God to change my barrenness. I choose to bloom in the desert. This is a daily choice and a long, costly commitment. 

There are plenty of things that could squelch the growth and beauty of a heart surrendered to depend on Jesus. But there is one thing that has become obvious in a month of living in the desert. All it takes is enough water to resurrect life. I'm heading to the living water and source of life (John 4:10-14): Jesus and his Words. 

Will you join me?

Unfailing Love and Tantrums

 

I am confident that God knows our weaknesses. Psalm 103 says that he is tender and compassionate like a Father is with his children. Verse 14 and following describe us like grass that withers and dies and is blown away by the wind. Out in the desert, that picture is a vivid daily reminder of how fragile we humans are.

My emotions are fragile, raw, edgy. I often don't know what to post because I need to refrain from sharing the rawness of my heart. I want to be real and transparent, to be accountable to those who care for our family and pray for our work. God knows the fragility of my emotions. The Psalm continues that the unfailing love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him and he extends salvation to me, to my children, when I/we choose him.

God is gracious and compassionate with me. I know he is bringing our family through each of these stages of transition to teach us our need for him and to remind us of how gentle he is when we are fragile and feeling blown away. I need these trials of many kinds to test and prove my faith will endure the fire, prove to me that God will make my faith stronger through each trial no matter how mundane the trial seems. This week the trial is testing my obedience to love sacrificially. I lost sleep every night to comfort my son through the wee hours of the morning. I stayed up making food and doing dishes so I could give the kids time to explore our neighborhood in the mornings. I made breakfast for our family at 6am in the morning and sent David off with fresh coffee. I bathed kids and washed laundry after multiple accidents. I even slept on the floor in our four year old's room last night. I have been screamed at and endured other harsh comments from my child who is learning to live without naps. I have responded like I was the child dropping a nap. Does this sound familiar to you? Does this sound like the way that Jesus loved his disciples and those who nailed him to a cross? Does this sound like the sacrificial love Jesus showed me on that cross?

Through each painful and tear filled day, I keep thinking that what God wants to teach me is so simple and so hard. I cannot make the situation easier. I cannot change the things that I wish were different or go back to life before this move and this career. I cannot make life better by jumping ship and leaving all this difficulty behind. I have a choice to make, a simple but incredibly hard choice. I need to choose joy. I need to choose gratitude. I need to choose to believe I can trust God to be choosing what is best for me and for my family.

I am choosing to love my family through my actions and my tone of voice. I am choosing to be gentle and patient with wildly distraught children. I am choosing to change from quick anger to slow responses. I am choosing to change from bitter resentment to what I can thank God for providing in his incredible goodness. I am choosing to stop throwing temper tantrums when I don't get to choose what my day holds or how my family responds and love them with actions and grace.

God is asking me to choose to control what he has placed within my control : my attitude, my words, my tone of voice. God is asking me to trust him with the rest.

I've heard our daughter express several times this week the sentiments that God is challenging me to reverse in my thinking:

"I wish this were not that way"

"I don't like the things you choose for me! I wish you would let me do what I want to do"

I am learning from my own words as I teach my toddlers to choose joy.

Still, the three of us (really every human) are slow to trust and find change very hard. We are fragile.

God is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love for us.

God is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love for you. Do you trust him?

Plan for the Future

Where did you picture yourself when you dreamed about life in the year 2020? I (Allison) don't remember any of my daydreams of the future looking like my life does right now. Is God not gracious to us in this unique way? I appreciate God's wisdom and sovereign control over the broad and complex details of my life and the world he created. I marvel at how patient God is when I worry about the future or try to have control over what my life experiences are or will be.
This past year, I have continued to learn a very important lesson. My future is not going to look like I expected or planned. My role in God's kingdom expansion is not going to look like I anticipated. Our four months of training last spring involved several transitions and interviews that were hard for me. My anxious and angry responses revealed I was not accepting God's control over my future. I was not responding with a submissive and respectful heart despite my efforts to have the outward appearance of obedience. I was willing to move forward without understanding what God was requiring of me, but I was not happy about it.

David and I struggled with taking another year to make our decision when we know how desperately the aviation team needs maintenance personnel overseas. We struggled with questions of whether the urgency of people dying without hearing the gospel required we move forward with a decision more quickly.  Were we being selfish?  The additional time we have spent making a decision about future ministry has been worth every minute. We are growing in faith, knowledge, patience, unity, and confidence in God's leading and his sovereignty.  This decade, I am learning how to be ok with God's will and actually enjoy trusting in who God is and his promise to be with me whatever he calls me to do. David and I have also been learning how to approach God with our requests and show respect for his control over our future. Maybe I can explain it like this: when we train our children, we expect young children to obey our authority without questioning our direction first. In our parenting, David and I hope to establish the grace and permission for a respectful question to come after immediate obedience. We believe it is healthy for our daughter to understand why we make decisions and how to discern what choices are best. Ultimately, we need her to obey first and ask questions second for two reasons: we believe this demonstrates trust rather than resentment of our authority, and we know that there are instances in which slow responses could mean imminent or immediate danger.
When checking both ways before you cross the street, situations arise when you don't see what others see and you need to act quickly when warned by someone you trust. We know that there will be many opportunities for traffic, snakes, coconuts or any number of situations that will put our lives in danger if we do not see and avoid those dangers. Our responsibility is to watch for and warn our children of danger; if they obey our instruction quickly, dangers are no longer a threat to their lives. Disobedience creates a very different result. David and I realize we are the children learning to obey God's commands like our children are learning to trust and respect our authority. God directs our lives to provide what is best for us whether we see impending danger or understand why we need to "Move!" immediately. God also desires to train us to make wise decisions according to his wisdom; he is teaching us how to understand what really matters in life and how to value the things that have eternal value.  This is counter cultural, foreign to our self-centered, temporal nature. We have also gained a lot of practice making significant decisions as a team rather than two individuals.

We are so grateful for the grace and patience God has shown us. We are confident that this journey is as much about our lives becoming a reflection of his glory as it is about the lives of those yet to hear God's truth in their own language. Thank you all for praying with us and trusting God to draw our hearts closer to his.

What's My Motivation?

What is the number one thing that would prompt you to die on behalf of another person? What motivation does it take to make such a significant personal sacrifice?

Don't be confused that I'm going to lump the corona virus into a group with Ebola and the Bubonic Plague. But I do want you to watch this video and think about what the motivation for heroic sacrifice was in the story this Vietnam veteran shares:
Leadership and Responsibility- Richard Pimentel

My husband, David, asked me to sit down and watch this documentary with him last month. I had posed the question to David, "What is your motivation for the career you are pursuing?" I'll be honest, I wasn't asking nicely. I've been wrestling with this question as I ponder my own answer. Our family is facing a lot of change, a lot of transition, a lot of goodbyes. We are giving up close ties with family, milestone moments we want to be a part of, friendships and relationship with people we have loved, an "American dream" or idyllic life, possessions, familiarity, even just knowing how to ask where the bathroom is....

I'm not complaining. I'm contemplating. It is complete and utter foolishness to embark on a journey or set a goal without counting the cost. You can't run a marathon without training for it.
Jesus Christ said this to his disciples in the Bible. I think this hit a chord with these men too since it is recorded in more than one account of Jesus' life.  {Here is a link to the NET Bible where you can read Luke 14:25-35 (NET Bible Luke 14) or you can pull out your favorite version and read the paper copy. I like the way the pages feel; I especially enjoy the notes I've written in the margins from previous "aha" moments of reading a passage of God's word.}
Jesus uses two illustrations of major events that bear significant cost to those who undertake them. First, he captures the audience's attention with an idea they most closely relate to... beginning a building project. How many of us have driven by a partially erected building only to shake our heads at the company that ran out of budget to complete their project. "Foolishness..." we think to ourselves.
I think the next illustration hit pretty close to home in Jesus' day also. So many of these simple working people would have been among the 10,000 men numbered in this king's army. They were the ones who would face the onslaught of the enemy army. They are the ones who would suffer the casualties and defeat. They are the families who would lose their provider, their home, their ability to have necessities to survive if their men died in battle. Notice the king's response when he weighs the odds of his army against a much stronger opponent. He decides the best course of action is not to undertake the offensive and instead to make an attempt to negotiate peace. He may still face a situation that is against the odds if his offer of peace is rejected, but he is going to make the wisest decision he can in the situation and hope that it resolves the conflict without as great a cost.

Jesus doesn't use these illustrations to set aside the risk of entrepreneurship or emphasis there is a better way to negotiate than battle. Look at his parting comment in verse 33, "So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own." That comment reveals my true issue with the cost I am counting: greed, self-preservation, my worship of possessions, comfort, people, happiness...

Jesus used these illustrations to make a clear, simple point. Don't start something you can't finish.

That is exactly what I am questioning these days. Can we see this career choice through to the finish? Can we expend our lives in the cause we believe Jesus Christ has set before us? How will our choices affect our children, our marriage, our sanity, our faith, our health, etc? What if we set out to begin this journey and can't complete it? What then?

The veteran, Richard Pimentel, stated three "C"s from Aristotle's teaching that define a leader: Content, Competence, Character. Those three words describe the kind of leader who is worth following: one you can trust. The reason you trust this leader: because he cares about you.
Those three "C" words describe the leader I'm following, even to the point of death on the cross. I believe Jesus Christ, both God and man, is the only person in the entire world who could truly be ascribed these three qualities in absolute perfection. Wouldn't that be someone worthy of devoted obedience? Is this not the kind of person you want to follow into battle regardless of the terrors you might face? Is this the person who is worth dying for?

Richard Pimentel quotes his Sergeant from a particular situation in the war in Vietnam, "Responsibility is a word made up of two words, the word response and the word ability....
We all find ourselves looking at situations, we all find ourselves with abilities. What we have to ask is given my abilities, what then will be my response to those abilities?"

Romans 5:1-11 puts this another way that describes the deep joy that prompts those who believe in Jesus to endure suffering with a hope that does not disappoint. Please, please read the verses in the entire passage. I'll only include the last two.
"10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God."

There are more passages in Scripture that add to the clear picture that Jesus Christ, whom God the Father sent to die on our behalf and raised to life, is the ONLY person worthy of complete obedience and surrender.  (Parables-treasure of God's Kingdom)

Revelation 5: 4-11
"4 Then I began to weep bitterly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll and read it. 5 But one of the twenty-four elders said to me, “Stop weeping! Look, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the heir to David’s throne, has won the victory. He is worthy to open the scroll and its seven seals.”

6 Then I saw a Lamb that looked as if it had been slaughtered, but it was now standing between the throne and the four living beings and among the twenty-four elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which represent the sevenfold Spirit of God that is sent out into every part of the earth. 7 He stepped forward and took the scroll from the right hand of the one sitting on the throne. 8 And when he took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. 

9 And they sang a new song with these words:
“You are worthy to take the scroll
and break its seals and open it.
For you were slaughtered, and your blood has ransomed people for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.
10 And you have caused them to become
a Kingdom of priests for our God.
And they will reign on the earth.”

11 Then I looked again, and I heard the voices of thousands and millions of angels around the throne and of the living beings and the elders. 12 And they sang in a mighty chorus:
“Worthy is the Lamb who was slaughtered—
to receive power and riches
and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and blessing.
13 And then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea. They sang:
“Blessing and honor and glory and power
belong to the one sitting on the throne
and to the Lamb forever and ever.”
14 And the four living beings said, “Amen!” And the twenty-four elders fell down and worshiped the Lamb."

What did David want me to remember from watching this inspirational speech? How did this speaker capture the motivation that drives him to lead our family toward great sacrifice?
"It's our responsibility..."

The theme that has been ringing with truth in my heart and mind for the past year has been,
"He alone is worthy..."
Maybe this is what God has been teaching me through all the stress and the transition and the unknown about the future. It is good that we remind ourselves of this truth.
Is He Worthy by Andrew Peterson

Does our family have the ability to do what Jesus has called us to do?
Only by his grace and through his power (2 Corinthians 3:4-6a; 3:18-5:21 NET Bible)

What will our response be? to follow him to the ends of the earth
(Matthew 28:16-20 NLT, Acts 1:8 NET Bible)

"What abilities do you have and, more importantly, what is your response to those abilities?" Richard Pimentel