Holding Out Open Hands

Over the past year, David and I have been building a habit of praying together daily. Often, I have found myself praying that God would help us hold our (fill the blank) with open hands. The request might change day to day, month to month, from money, to possessions, to where we live or what we do. Something about the idea of open hands has been developing as a theme throughout the past several months, even years. It comes up in conversation; we hear illustrations in sermons; someone encourages us with words of wisdom; I end up searching Google images for graphic illustrations of open hands. I have personally seen God repeat a theme that he is teaching me over and over in a variety of settings so that I begin to grasp what this truth means and how to apply it. God uses these "teachable moments" to prepare me for some part of my journey he's written but has not yet revealed.

For me, God began a few years ago to teach me about surrender. I am a planner, a visionary, a little bit fear driven by the thought that if I don't take initiative quickly, I might never care enough to move or do the next scary thing. One of the drawbacks to this reactionary lifestyle has been making plans for myself that don't match those of my heavenly Father. It is a scary thing to have no control, no ideas, no plan for the future. Or so I thought. I have come to find it is actually scarier to hold onto control so hard I was actually fighting off God's control of my life. It became harder and harder to enjoy life or be satisfied in it when I had to wrestle and fight to hold onto what I wanted the future to look like. Two summers ago, I was reading a book by Mark Batterson called Wild Goose Chase. I thought it would be about how difficult and illusive it is to discern the will of God. Instead, I found that the book focused on the challenge and thrill of taking the risk to let go: let go of your plans, dreams, expectations and embrace where the Holy Spirit is leading you. In some ways, it reminds me of a quote from the Chronicles of Narnia about Aslan,

“He'll be coming and going" he had said. "One day you'll see him and another you won't. He doesn't like being tied down--and of course he has other countries to attend to. It's quite all right. He'll often drop in. Only you mustn't press him. He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

The Holy Spirit is "not a tame" being; he is the powerful, sovereign, and completely generous God.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Favorite books have a habit of making themselves useful to drive home your point.

First, God taught me to surrender my plan to be married: whether I would ever marry, who I married, how long I would be married. Even inherent in my marital status was the imminent possibility that I might never bear or raise children.
In the midst of the twist and turns that brought David into my life, God asked me to give up or give him my hopes and dreams to serve in full-time ministry. Then, he asked me to give him my current job. I was 28, living with my mom, and choosing to end my employment. Then, God told me to travel to Germany to serve at an English camp by myself and with no time to raise support. Within a few months, I quit my job, started a part-time position at my church, traveled to two countries, participated on two missions trips, and started dating a man I had only met 3 months before. Was this what I had planned for my future? You've got to be kidding me!
I gained so much joy from those months of learning about surrender. Even the year that followed as I grew to know and love my husband were filled with choices to surrender what I thought should happen and embrace what God knew would be the best life.

Lately, the theme of letting go or opening your hands has been resurrecting in the sermon illustrations or applications at my home church. One pastor talked about how the disciples left everything when Jesus invited them to follow him. He gave the illustration of holding out your clenched fists face up, turning them over and opening your hands to "let go of the nets (and whatever you have trapped in them)". Up until that point, I had envisioned open hands being held face up, a posture of worship and adoration or of offering something up to God. I realized how easy it would be to clench those fists back around what you were trying to give up instead of letting it go. If your hands are turned over and then opened, you drop what you were holding and it becomes much harder to pick it back up.
Another pastor recently spoke about Jesus' statement that " “If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." Matthew 16:24 Our pastor captured the repetition of the word must from what Jesus had been telling the disciples in the previous verses. Jesus himself had a mission he MUST complete- to be killed, buried, and to be raised again. What Jesus had said he MUST do, he did. The statement about what we MUST do will, no question, happen as well.
Such a simple observation: This statement is an if/then clause. If anyone wants to follow Jesus, then he MUST deny himself-surrender, let go, open their hands.... Funny thing: if you reverse the statements in the if/then clause, you get an interesting result. If anyone does NOT deny himself, then he will NOT be following Jesus.

So, in answer to my prayer for open hands, here is a list of what God has asked David and I to let go of over the last six months.

• Our jobs 
• Our home/privacy and independence 
• Our income 
• Being close to my family 
• My role in the local church or current ministry purpose 
• My identity as a career woman/ministry leader 
• The timing on our move and transition to the mission field 
• What "needs" we desire be met 
• serving alongside close friends 
• needs among family members and close friends 

And yet, I can list just as many things he has given us in return

• hope 
• joy 
• love 
• special moments with friends and family 
• phone calls or emails to catch up 
• strengthened relationship as husband and wife 
• answered prayer 
• a place to live 
• purpose that is not tied to what I do but what he has done 
• new friends in far away places 
• a ministry to work towards and look forward to 
• a place to serve among people who delight in God like we long to 
• more witnessing opportunities than before 
• relationships that bear fruit 
• giving generously only to receive generous gifts 
• every need met 

I am getting the idea that I'd rather have open hands for God to use or discard whatever I have because I have seen his will turn out best. It is time to exercise those phalanges and metacarpals.

           

Big News (Allison is still NOT pregnant)

We do have big news to share with you. Since you already know that we are not having a baby, the big news is that we will not be continuing as Cadence missionaries beyond this summer. In the last three years, God has blessed David with the opportunities and experiences of serving the military community through Cadence International.  David has also been enjoying his HQ position as the Administrative Assistant to the CFO, but this position will be changed in the new fiscal year. In addition to the obvious need for HQ to hire an IT person with different qualifications, David has felt a strong desire to pursue a different role in missions. He has been reviewing and researching the positions within missions for technical and mechanical service. David knows that God has gifted him with mechanical skills and other unique problem-solving abilities. We believe that God is leading us to pursue a different area of ministry with a need for the mechanical and technical skill set that God gave David. David has been in conversation with an organization that needs licensed airplane mechanics to service planes providing transportation to missionaries through remote areas. Although David is skilled mechanically, he does not have the specific training and licensing required by the FAA to work as an airplane mechanic. We are currently applying to a missions organization that offers an apprenticeship training which would prepare David to pass the required testing to receive the FAA license as an Airframe and Powerplant Mechanic. We hope David can begin this training within the calendar year. 

What does all this mean? I'll try to condense what we've been praying about and thinking through for the last few months. David's current position is ending this summer. We have decided not to pursue candidacy with Cadence as full-time missionaries. David is applying for an apprenticeship or degree in A&P mechanics to serve as an aviation mechanic with a mission organization. We have met with a recruiter from one particular organization to find out what specific qualifications David will need. We will be moving out of Colorado once we know at which school David will be receiving training. We don't know where, when, or how God will accomplish what this transition requires but we are confident he will be faithful to provide and reveal what he asks of us at just the right time. 

Pray with and for us:
That God's direction will continue to be clear, one step at a time
That we will be faithful in the small things and fully committed to our current work until God redirects us
That we will be patient with God's timing
That God will open our neighbors heart's to the gospel
That we will not forget the generosity of God's people and God's tremendous provision

Praise God with us:
For our developing relationships with our neighbors
For the way God is changing the lives of children through his Word at our church
For his clear direction to pursue aviation mechanics
For unity and faith in pursuing the known and the unknown about our future
For providing for our extended families
For God's provision to make multiple part-time jobs meet our needs and allow us to give back to Him

Our karaoke duet at the Youth Retreat in March

Surfacing

It's hard to believe that life is moving along quickly and six months have passed since David and I were married. Married life is treating us well, most people say. That is the most common question we field on a regular basis. "How's married life? Looks like it's ...." as I already stated.
The second most common question that seems to arise would be, "Is Allison pregnant?" I don't know how other people get away with looking tired and do not have the same conversation. Well, the current answer is "NO" I am not pregnant. We do hope God blesses us with a child, or several, but in His way and His timing. Until then, I don't plan on looking fat or tired unless that is exactly what I am. You can figure that out I think. :o)
You have probably wondered when we would come out of hiding and look around for other signs of life. Simply put, I'm waiting until Spring to come out of hibernation. It has been a very cold winter in Denver, Colorado and we've enjoyed the use of our fireplace quite a bit. I'm fond of the old-fashioned methods of heating your home. It's so aromatic and creates quite the atmosphere. A few days of uncommonly warm
weather in the last two months has awakened the sleeping DeJongs and given us the urge to be biking. Attached is the picture David took of me standing next to the very dirty bike we purchased from a local bike store. The reason my bike is covered in mud would have nothing to do with my riding the bike. It has EVERYTHING to do with my husband's love for off-road, mountain biking, near-death experiences. Even he admitted that it was a little hairy of a path for my bike tire tread. That's alright. I don't mind David having adventures; I just don't join him on all of them yet.

On the days when life outdoors does not beckon to us, David splits his (often) 16 hour days between two part-time jobs. You may be familiar with the position Cadence International gave David at Headquarters to allow him a position in Colorado during his first year of marriage. His other part time job has been working as a life guard for the City of Lakewood. Praise God they just promoted David to MOD (manager on duty) and we will see how his work schedule changes.
I spend a lot of time working from home, or working on things at home. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate between the two if I am preparing a Bible lesson and doing a load of laundry at the same time. I have to be careful to balance equal time for each "job". For those who don't know, I work for my church, Creekside Bible Church in Castle Rock, as the administrator for the Children's Ministries. I have been very grateful to be able to do a lot of work on my computer from home. It has proven especially beneficial to reduce some of our gas expenditures (David commutes quite a lot as well) and to prevent me from driving 45 mins each way during bad weather.  Somehow that didn't keep me home during today's snowstorm. Ah, spring snows.... I've driven an SUV full of teenagers home from the youth retreats in snowstorms so many times that I really couldn't convince myself that it would be safer to stay home today.   shrug


David and I keep really busy between jobs, caring for our two bedroom apartment, and visiting with family, friends, and neighbors. We both serve as mentors and adult chaperones for the high school youth ministry at our church. We also serve with the T & T age group in our church AWANA Clubs program. This month David is leading his group of high school guys in serving the church custodian. Every Sunday afternoon in March, this group of juniors and seniors has been accomplishing special cleaning projects around the church building during the time between the worship service and the AWANA ministry.

I have been developing relationships with two of the women who live in our apartment complex. We shared Christmas presents, had meals together, and may even plan a community event for the complex. We have enjoyed getting to know our neighbors better. God answered a prayer that David and I began praying during our pre-marital counseling that we would have the opportunity to meet an express need for each of our neighbors. Perhaps the most common need we each have is the need for relationships. Please pray that the gospel would be so evident in our lives that we can clearly share this good news with our neighbors.