I do not acclimate to change well. God has brought some wonderful changes into my life in the past eight years. It seems like a whirlwind of transition. I've been through job changes, change of marital status, multiple moves, new homes, new friends, new churches, new bosses, new state regulations and officials. I'm sure you have experienced some of the same transition before. My husband once said I was adjusting well. I think he stopped saying that after the second move to a new state, new job, new church, new friends, new baby transition.
Can I be honest? The hardest part of transition is humility. Jesus says we must deny ourselves or, as the New Living Translation puts it, "turn from your selfish ways" (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23). Jesus is quoted identically in all three of those gospels,
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me."
The question I have to ask myself is "Am I willing to be second?" The difficult fact about following someone is that I don't decide what it is that I imitate or where I follow them. I don't get to be in charge. That doesn't fit with my opinion of myself and my wonderful ability to make decisions and get things done. I want to be the one to lead the pack, set the pace, and determine what will be accomplished, in what order, and by whom.
Is that what I am commanded to deny? What about myself do I need to throw aside so I have the strength and grace to carry a cross?
It's despicable but it's true. There are plenty of days I don't want to love him because....
I don't want to serve him when I feel....
He doesn't deserve my concern and care when he.... Does it really matter?
The truth is that I pledged "to have and to hold, to honor and to cherish, to love and to serve..." until death parts us from each other. There is no clause allowing me to abandon that covenant because I don't feel like it or he doesn't return the favor.
In our current transition, my struggle to adjust has centered around my rebellion against denying myself and taking up my cross. It surprises me that the cross I don't want to bear is nothing dangerous or monumental. I struggle with the purpose to which Christ has called me, to serve. In this season of life, I am called to serve my husband and my family as a homemaker and wife. Is that so difficult? What is the challenge there? Thoughts of these verses come to mind to correct my perspective a little.
Mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
John 13:12-17
"12 After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. 15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. 16 I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. 17 Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them."
The challenge for me about serving my husband is rooted in my pride. Doing laundry, washing dishes, and cooking dinner on time seems like such a mundane, unimportant way to bring glory to God. I can't be impacting the Kingdom of God from the kitchen, can I? How can God use me to make disciples if I never leave the house? What if the only time I leave the house is to shop for groceries??
Who wants to follow that example?
The sermons we have heard in church over the last few weeks have focused on having a faith worth imitating. The apostle Paul exhorted the Corinthian church to "imitate me just as I imitate Christ" in 1 Corinthians 11:1. The ultimate goal is that the believers in Corinth would imitate Christ, but Paul was the visible example of who they were following, the imitation of Christ that those believers had experienced personally.
Who wants to follow someone whose imitation of Christ is most often experienced in cleaning bathrooms and washing uniforms, or whose hands are cracked from constantly being in dishwater? It is way more exciting to fix an airplane. You might agree that it is extremely important to fly an airplane into a remote jungle village or through mountain ravines to rescue someone and transport them to the hospital. Nurses participate in saving lives on a daily basis! Other people use business skills to provide their communities with basic necessities and job opportunities. Some people risk their lives just sharing the gospel message with a person of another religious background.
Those are all ways of serving. Why can't I serve in the adventurous areas? I know that God has commanded all believers to make disciples. I just don't see how to make a disciple "as I am going" when the places I go to are so mundane and limited! A dear friend reminded me this is short sighted. As we look at each moment of being a Christ follower, we are also to look at the big picture of Heaven and realize that when you honor God with your life in the little details you are being a disciple. "The one who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and the one who is unrighteous in a very little thing is also unrighteous in much." Luke 16:10 NASB
I knew when I made the decision to accept my husband's proposal of marriage that I would have to sacrifice my dreams of how I would serve in ministry. I also realized that marriage to my husband meant following where his ministry would lead. His ministry direction has always been different than mine. That does not mean we have been unable to serve together in certain ways. However, my husband's greatest spiritual gift is serving others to enable their gifts to thrive. It can be challenging to support and join in a ministry that is serving and supporting everyone else! I am learning that the calling to serve often requires me to lay aside the ministry I wanted to accomplish in order to support and strengthen another person's ministry. My husband is teaching me how to serve as he imitates Christ and how Christ served. Jesus Christ is teaching me how to submit to the will of the Father as I learn to serve my husband and help his ministry thrive (doing the dishes, cooking dinner, etc).
Will God enable me to follow Christ's example? I think my role as homemaker and wife may be more fitting to that calling than I want to admit. Can God bring women into my kitchen who need to see an example of imitating Christ's act of service and sacrificial love? Absolutely. Right now, I'm in the process of an attitude adjustment so I can be ready to accurately reflect that kind of humility. Today, I will bring glory to God as I learn to cheerfully submit to my role and perform my service, starting with cleaning the kitchen sink. First thing tomorrow morning I will clean the public bathrooms in our event hall after a large group event. This may not be the glorious mission I envisioned God would call me to. I may have cried myself to sleep last night. But I am going to choose humility and gratitude for what Jesus sacrificed to be obedient to his Father, God, and thank him with my cleaning services. Who will join me?
Philippians 2:5-11
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.
9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
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