Am I willing to be second?

Transition in life is hard. Few of us really enjoy change, do we? Sure, we thrive on diversity, seek out variety, wear three to five outfits in one day, but we rarely look for transition from what we find comfortable to something new. How many times have we "upgraded" our technology and struggled to adjust to the new system? Who has held onto a nasty old couch or recliner because it is so comfortable that you hate to throw it out?

I do not acclimate to change well. God has brought some wonderful changes into my life in the past eight years. It seems like a whirlwind of transition. I've been through job changes, change of marital status, multiple moves, new homes, new friends, new churches, new bosses, new state regulations and officials.  I'm sure you have experienced some of the same transition before. My husband once said I was adjusting well. I think he stopped saying that after the second move to a new state, new job, new church, new friends, new baby transition.

Can I be honest? The hardest part of transition is humility. Jesus says we must deny ourselves or, as the New Living Translation puts it, "turn from your selfish ways" (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23).  Jesus is quoted identically in all three of those gospels,

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me."

The question I have to ask myself is "Am I willing to be second?" The difficult fact about following someone is that I don't decide what it is that I imitate or where I follow them. I don't get to be in charge. That doesn't fit with my opinion of myself and my wonderful ability to make decisions and get things done. I want to be the one to lead the pack, set the pace, and determine what will be accomplished, in what order, and by whom.  

Is that what I am commanded to deny? What about myself do I need to throw aside so I have the strength and grace to carry a cross?

Marriage is a good example. I am learning on a daily basis how much selfishness is revealed in my heart because I got married. The excuse that this person has to love me, serve me, care for my needs because they are family has been stripped away.  This person didn't "have" to do any of those things. My husband chooses to love me, serve me, and care for my needs every day. So do I return the sentiment?  How selfish am I to refuse to serve my husband, sacrifice my desires and needs for his, and expend my energy caring for him? Didn't I make a vow to do that?
It's despicable but it's true. There are plenty of days I don't want to love him because....

I don't want to serve him when I feel.... 

He doesn't deserve my concern and care when he.... Does it really matter? 

The truth is that I pledged "to have and to hold, to honor and to cherish, to love and to serve..." until death parts us from each other. There is no clause allowing me to abandon that covenant because I don't feel like it or he doesn't return the favor.

In our current transition, my struggle to adjust has centered around my rebellion against denying myself and taking up my cross.  It surprises me that the cross I don't want to bear is nothing dangerous or monumental. I struggle with the purpose to which Christ has called me, to serve. In this season of life, I am called to serve my husband and my family as a homemaker and wife. Is that so difficult? What is the challenge there?  Thoughts of these verses come to mind to correct my perspective a little.
Mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
John 13:12-17
"12 After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. 15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. 16 I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. 17 Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them."

The challenge for me about serving my husband is rooted in my pride. Doing laundry, washing dishes, and cooking dinner on time seems like such a mundane, unimportant way to bring glory to God. I can't be impacting the Kingdom of God from the kitchen, can I? How can God use me to make disciples if I never leave the house? What if the only time I leave the house is to shop for groceries??

Who wants to follow that example?

The sermons we have heard in church over the last few weeks have focused on having a faith worth imitating. The apostle Paul exhorted the Corinthian church to "imitate me just as I imitate Christ" in 1 Corinthians 11:1. The ultimate goal is that the believers in Corinth would imitate Christ, but Paul was the visible example of who they were following, the imitation of Christ that those believers had experienced personally.

Who wants to follow someone whose imitation of Christ is most often experienced in cleaning bathrooms and washing uniforms, or whose hands are cracked from constantly being in dishwater? It is way more exciting to fix an airplane.  You might agree that it is extremely important to fly an airplane into a remote jungle village or through mountain ravines to rescue someone and transport them to the hospital. Nurses participate in saving lives on a daily basis!  Other people use business skills to provide their communities with basic necessities and job opportunities. Some people risk their lives just sharing the gospel message with a person of another religious background.

Those are all ways of serving. Why can't I serve in the adventurous areas?  I know that God has commanded all believers to make disciples. I just don't see how to make a disciple "as I am going" when the places I go to are so mundane and limited! A dear friend reminded me this is short sighted. As we look at each moment of being a Christ follower, we are also to look at the big picture of Heaven and realize that when you honor God with your life in the little details you are being a disciple. "The one who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and the one who is unrighteous in a very little thing is also unrighteous in much." Luke 16:10 NASB

I knew when I made the decision to accept my husband's proposal of marriage that I would have to sacrifice my dreams of how I would serve in ministry. I also realized that marriage to my husband meant following where his ministry would lead. His ministry direction has always been different than mine. That does not mean we have been unable to serve together in certain ways. However, my husband's greatest spiritual gift is serving others to enable their gifts to thrive. It can be challenging to support and join in a ministry that is serving and supporting everyone else!  I am learning that the calling to serve often requires me to lay aside the ministry I wanted to accomplish in order to support and strengthen another person's ministry.  My husband is teaching me how to serve as he imitates Christ and how Christ served. Jesus Christ is teaching me how to submit to the will of the Father as I learn to serve my husband and help his ministry thrive (doing the dishes, cooking dinner, etc).

Will God enable me to follow Christ's example? I think my role as homemaker and wife may be more fitting to that calling than I want to admit. Can God bring women into my kitchen who need to see an example of imitating Christ's act of service and sacrificial love? Absolutely. Right now, I'm in the process of an attitude adjustment so I can be ready to accurately reflect that kind of humility. Today, I will bring glory to God as I learn to cheerfully submit to my role and perform my service, starting with cleaning the kitchen sink.  First thing tomorrow morning I will clean the public bathrooms in our event hall after a large group event. This may not be the glorious mission I envisioned God would call me to. I may have cried myself to sleep last night. But I am going to choose humility and gratitude for what Jesus sacrificed to be obedient to his Father, God, and thank him with my cleaning services. Who will join me?

Philippians 2:5-11
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Declaring the Glory of God

I've been reading and thinking about this piece of the Bible:

Psalm 19
For the choir director: A psalm of David.


1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
2 Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.
3 They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard.
4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.


God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.
6 The sun rises at one end of the heavens
and follows its course to the other end.
Nothing can hide from its heat.

I've spent my whole life enjoying the benefit of the sun, moon, and stars. I used to lie on my back deck or out in the yard looking at the stars at night. I've gotten such a bad sunburn that people said I looked like a red lobster. I love the quote from a popular children's book "I love you to the moon and back." Who doesn't benefit from the ways the sun, moon, and stars illuminate our lives?

Have you ever thought about daily tasks which depend on light? In an age which benefits from electronic light sources, I think we have managed to lose sight of the light the sun, moon, and stars provide. The weekend before my birthday, our region had a lengthy power outage. No power, no street lights. There was nothing to diminish or distract from the light of the stars. Wow, they were gorgeous! My husband and I sat outside and gazed at the stars for a couple hours talking. There was little else to do without light by which we could see!

Psalm 19 states the heavens have a job to do, a message they proclaim day and night. The heavens have spent their entire existence doing what they were intended to do. Their impact has gone "throughout the world." Do you ever wish you had that kind of impact?

The second part of the psalm focuses on the sun's role in the heavens. "The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Nothing can hide from its heat." Living in the desert brings a constant reminder of the powerful heat the sun produces. I may hide inside my house with walls and blackout curtains to try and hide from its heat; the sun still relentlessly increases the temperature of my house while my air conditioning unit battles to reduce its effect. When I lived in Colorado, people would marvel at the deep snows that fell in the early spring. Yet, my family's house faced the south so our snow would melt quickly in the heat the sun produced.

The psalmist marvels at the heavens because they accomplish that for which they were designed. They do what they were created to do-declare the glory of God, their creator. Do you ever wonder why you exist or what purpose your life was given? Do you ever feel exhausted and discouraged? I've been there... I've felt depressed because I have spent so much energy and seen so little of my goals accomplished. I've wondered if I am worthless because I see no point in continuing the effort to live another day. But, I've begun to ponder, "Am I really pursuing the purpose for which I was given life? Is this what I was created to do?"

The author of this psalm makes it sound so simple: the heavens declare the glory of God, display his craftsmanship, and make him known. Is that all? Is that what every part of creation was designed to accomplish? Scientifically, we know a lot about life that biology, astronomy, and the other studies have discovered about how things work and how their functions interweave. Yet, there is something amazing about the simplicity of this purpose - to make God known. Is that the ultimate goal of all the intricate complexity and interactions of cells and microorganisms?

With singular focus, the sun follows its course across the heavens, burning and glowing intensely. Sound boring or mundane? Get up, go from point A to point B, and do the same thing over and over and over for years.... The author describes the sun's response to God vividly. The sun bursts forth with exuberance, radiant and confident, like a man who has tasted everything his heart desired and is ready to conquer any challenge. It rejoices with eager anticipation at the thought of another chance to run its course. Do you face your day with that attitude? I know I struggle to feel that way about another morning.

What do the sun, moon, and stars teach us about life? What can I learn from this descriptive imagery? I was created with purpose. God has a place for me in His world and a course to finish. God designed His world, His people to make him known. The heavens do this all day and night without speaking a word. Their mere existence and ability to complete their unique function proclaims the message, "God designed me to give light and heat!" Nothing and no one can hide from this message. Not even the North and South Pole. I have also begun to learn that I can accomplish my purpose with joy. I can face the repetition of my daily tasks with anticipation and eagerness. I was intended to let my life declare the glory of the one God who created me and gave me purpose! I believe this is as true for people as it is for the heavens. Do you?

When God says, "No"

January 6th, 2020
Our family spent four days this December visiting a ministry in Burlington, NC. MAG, Missionary Air Group, is an organization that provides air ambulance services to indigenous and national people in remote regions of Honduras. We have known several former apprentices at MMS Aviation who continued their training and field preparation at MAG.  Our friends invited us to come visit MAG and see what God is doing through the ministry of MAG. We thoroughly enjoyed reconnecting with the two MMS Aviation families still in training at MAG (three families have completed the apprenticeship and are already serving in other countries). It was refreshing to catch up with our friends, share similar life experiences about training for cross-cultural ministry, and learn about how God has led each family to make unique decisions about how they fit into the overall picture of God's mission to spread the gospel. Many of our conversations affirmed our desire to continue this journey of following God wherever the next step leads. Our visit also provided the opportunity for our family to investigate whether God would be changing our direction to a ministry position in a mission organization that would allow us to live in the United States for health reasons.
David and I appreciate the vision MAG has- intentional ministry that provides a platform for engaging people with the gospel and discipling believers. However, we discovered the organization would not be a better fit for our family than the bond we have developed with Ethnos360 and the staff in McNeal, AZ or Roach, MO. We also confirmed our suspicion that North Carolina is not a "healthier" climate for Allison than Ohio or Missouri have been.  We believe God used this trip to encourage our pursuit of membership with Ethnos360 Aviation rather than redirect our course. We thank God for answering our prayer for clear direction, even when that answer is a clear "NO." Please email us if you have questions about specific reasons that helped us make this decision.
We've attached a link to the web page for Missionary Air Group here https://www.flymag.org/  We hope you will visit the web page and learn more about this ministry. We encourage you to consider partnering with the organization if you have interest in medical missions. We know several of you have participated on a medical missions trip or know someone who has been blessed to serve in such a way.

March 23, 2020
Another example we've faced recently brought tears to my eyes often. Our daughter has grown very close with her teacher in preschool. She loves the structure and the friends she gets to play with every morning (Monday through Friday).  Out of respect for the health of our classmates and childcare staff, there are reasonable guidelines for what illnesses require a parent to stay home from class to keep sick kids from infecting other kids. We have been unable to attend classes two weeks out of each of the past three months. Our daughter misses her class, so every day she prays to ask God that we would get better and be able to go back to class.
Our campus has chosen to switch to live streaming in respect to the federal and local Covid-19 recommendations to restrict gatherings to groups of ten people and enforcing the 6ft restrictions for appropriate distance between those present. At first it seemed childcare may still be able to be offered within the recommendations, but every member of our family needed to be healthy to be able to utilize this resource during our final two weeks of the semester. Our classmates' Graduation ceremony was cancelled. Our daughter's teacher is not returning next year to teach the preschool class, and our family will be moving from the area. Our daughter's prayer was so sweet and trusting, just the childlike faith we are all commanded to have. What was God's answer going to be to her prayer? Would she be able to have a few more days to go to class and say goodbye to this place she loves?
The day came quickly upon us with an email announcing the final day of childcare. Friday... tomorrow.... We felt that all our family members were finally without symptoms of illness. We could return for our final day of class and the fellowship of our classmates and friends. 

Our daughter's class threw a birthday party, for everyone. Our daughter loves celebrating birthdays, especially with friends from "class". While her birthday would be two months in the future, she was able to celebrate just as she hoped and play with those she loved. Some of her classmates moved away the very next morning. God had answered her sweet, innocent, faithful prayer with a "yes" one last time.

June 6th, 2021

We have been serving in ministry at Ethnos360 Aviation Headquarters for ten months, and David has been receiving additional training with the maintenance team. Allison completed the required course for aviation wives to prepare for responsibilities as a missionary wife and mother in another culture or overseas ministry context. When we interviewed (also called a candidate evaluation) in January of 2019, the leadership was clearly focused on accepting candidates capable of meeting ministry needs in the overseas locations they serve. Now we are waiting for the answer: in which country will the leadership assign our family to serve? We are anxious to begin the visa paperwork and negotiations to gain permission to move our family overseas in the coming year.  Our meeting with leadership left us in shock.  The leadership does not intend to send our family to serve in ministry overseas, possibly not ever.  The aviation headquarters has a department that needs additional employees to serve the entire organization from the Aviation headquarters-this position would be a chance to serve all five ministry locations. NO OVERSEAS WORK EXPERIENCE REQUIRED. They want David to begin work immediately after our sending church gives the approval for this assignment. We won't be moving overseas after all. We don't have to choose or be assigned to a foreign field location. We won't even have to move from one house on the center to another housing situation. Is this what God was planning to ask of us all along? 

The season we have faced in the past two years with Covid-19 pandemic is a constant reminder of timeless truth. We do not know whether our plans for the future will stand firm or fade away like a mist. God's truth teaches that he alone is in control of what the future holds and that he knows every moment he has laid out for our lives. I wrestle with wanting to be in control of my plans; bitterness threatens to extinguish my joy when plans change or life takes an "unexpected" (to me) turn.  I am learning how true James' words are when he wrote "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:14-15) and Proverbs that remind me, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21) "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." (Proverbs 16:9)  Our family has made a lot of plans that have evaporated like mist, especially in the current season of limitations. However, I am so grateful that God loves with gracious, wise, and powerful actions that establish my steps according to his sovereign plan so that I need not fear if I ask for his guidance, seek counsel,  and submit to what he reveals his plans are.  I am learning to be grateful for the clear answer of God's word and his counsel through his people because his ways are good. He knows what is best for me and my family. I am thankful for this opportunity to wrestle and practice following my gracious God as he leads our family through whatever life is ahead.